Older for younger gay dating

Gay Relationship Advice: Age Gaps in Gay Relationships

Many of my LGBTQ counseling clients ask me why they are only attracted to gay men younger than themselves. If you are happy dating gay men in their twenties, then this question is not important. It&#;s like asking &#;Why do I opt for blondes over brunettes?&#; My advice is to grant yourself enjoy dating whomever interests you (as prolonged as they are over the age of 18).

Age gap relationships are more common than you may realize. In western countries:

  • 1 out of every twelve male/female couples has an age gap of 10 years or more
  • that number increase to 25% in male/male couples
  • and 15% of female/female relationships

That same analyze indicated that age gap partners are more satisfied and more committed to each other than partners of similar age–though there is some research that points to a correlation with higher rates of divorce. Research also shows that couples with an age gap of less than ten years are happier than those with an age gap greater than ten years. You can find more details on these stats on this episode of the pod

Older – Younger: Age Differences in Dating

By John R. Ballew, M.S., L.P.C.

Much has been made of how gay men are supposed to be obsessed with youth and not on intergenerational gay dating. It’s true that many of the commercial images used to sell things to our community tend to suggest one standard of male beauty: buffed, hairless, white and young. Not everyone fits this standard. No matter how much time you spend at the gym, the only way to stay adj and buffed all your life is to scheme on dying young.

For those whose main connection with the gay community is the bar and club scene, it is doable to live in a very age-segregated world. This is understandable — human beings often tend to hang out with people pretty much like ourselves in age or class or interest — but it can distort our perspective. At some bars, a 35 year elderly man who walked in might be the oldest guy around.

I occasionally listen older men comment on the age discrimination they feel they have experienced in such bars. Talking to them a bit more, it often seems that the “discrimination” involves finding that th

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Thomas Gass, a dentist in California, has survived the curse—twice. The curse? Gass is a gay male whose only sexual attraction is to men significantly older than he is.

Gass lost his first partner, 28 years his senior, through the slowly deteriorating effects of Lou Gehrig’s disease after they had been together for 13 years. After recovering from his grief, he set up love again with a man 18 years older but endured another tragic loss when his second partner died of pancreatic cancer after they had spent 17 years together. Still a relatively youthful man, Gass might wonder whether or not to take a chance on loving an older gentleman again. For him, however, the choice is between an older man or no man at all. Gass and his friends—all of whom had lost older life partners—have labeled their abiding sexual attraction “the curse of being attracted to older men.”

I began to study same-sex relationships with age disparities while conducting research for my book, Finally Out: Letting Go of Living Straight. Gass and I started to correspond after he and his friends had read and discussed my essay